We Cannot Do It Alone

We Cannot Do It Alone

Every day is a learning experience as we people are in constant change. Just as much as we want to be accepted where we are and for who we are, we also have to look inside ourselves (or with the help of outside counseling and/or friends we trust) and assess what our issues are, and begin the hard work on fixing those issues to make us better.

We Cannot Do It Alone

The baggage we have from 40+ years of life, 20+ years of friendship, the relationship that isn’t going or didn’t go the way we wanted it to (or thought it should go), the resentment we still hold from getting picked last for teams in the neighborhood, the feeling of getting passed over in our jobs, our personal family dysfunction, the problems we have with our kids and/or spouse, the fact that we have needs that we’re too insecure to let others know about, but we then get angry at others because our needs aren’t being met…when we never let others know in the first place!! As a result, we then make the “SMART” decision and isolate ourselves, like that solves the problem. We’re left feeling alone, like no one cares when we have created the situation that we’re currently in.

We Cannot Do It Alone

Especially as men, we go into our “caves” to deal with our problems and tend to stay there until we find the solution. I’ve been into caves for the fear of not having all the answers, I’ve been in caves not wanting to be questioned at all or be questioned and I didn’t feel like my answers would be good enough. When friends and spouses try to coax us out, mainly desiring to provide help, we get upset and frequently go deeper into the cave, thereby creating a greater amount of isolation and more anger and frustration.

We Cannot Do It Alone

As much as we have been told to take care of ourselves, we need to understand that there’s a difference between self-sufficient and independent. Regardless of what we say, NOBODY wants to be independent, I think we frequently don’t know the difference between the two.

We Cannot Do It Alone

Family and friendships are important to our everyday living, emotional and spiritual health & welfare but they must be managed so both parties can meet somewhere in the middle and coexist in a good space. Relationships are just like bank accounts, where we make deposits and take withdrawals. Take a look at who and what’s important to you and ask yourself – Have I made more withdrawals than deposits with people? Do those in question feel like I’ve made more withdrawals or deposits? Have I put enough in the bank so I can make a withdrawal? How does the other person feel about it?

As much as are the captain of our own ship, if we don’t have others, we are just a boat, floating aimlessly in the water looking for a soft place to land…

We Cannot Do It Alone…