At the urging of one of my sons, I decided to bring back the
internal voice that frequently goes against the grain. And this is where I’m starting…
Too many times, we as people have dreams, desires and goals that
motivate us but we seem to expect others around us, friends, family and/or
spouses to share in those concepts. Just
because you feel strongly about something, because something gets you going in
the morning or something drives you to be better, doesn’t mean that you should
expect the same out of others, no matter how close they may be to you. Just because I’m a dad, love football and
wanted to play in the NFL doesn’t mean that I should push my sons to play
football to live out my dream. Just
because I love The Cooking Channel doesn’t mean my spouse should want to look
at it all day and night. Just because
you love the opera doesn’t mean I have to love it, or even go, although somehow
it will come up that I should go just because you want me to (and you have done
things that you didn’t want to but did…but that’s a WHOLE NUTHER’ POST). We have to be comfortable understanding that OUR
dreams are OURS, not everybody else’s and that’s ok. We have to be the captain of our dreams and shouldn’t
expect another soul to want what we dream about. Working out, cooking and eating healthy is uber
important to me but is it fair of me to get mad at my spouse, friends and
family because they it’s not important to them?? I used to get mad at people within my circle
that used what I called “excuses” as to why they couldn’t/wouldn’t exercise…I
used to place those people in the “lazy” category until I said to myself “Self,
working out, cooking and eating healthy are your goals, not theirs obviously
you Dumb A$$).” I had to accept the same
fact I’m talking about. Based on my son’s
graduation from culinary school, my dream was for him to be a chef and
eventually have his own restaurant. He
worked in the industry for a few years but decided to move on but stay within
the food service industry, which confused me for a bit. Once we talked and I asked why, he explained
his move and it made sense plus me more comfortable that he made a good
decision but I then realized, a restaurant was my dream for him, not his. Some of you want your partner to support you in
your business venture or personal goals but you are putting forth less effort than
your “support” and it’s not even their dream/goal. If
you or your spouse have a “fairytale” life picked out or planned based on the “relationship
fantasy” that most were fed since our early years (and frequently live still in),
use our parents as an example or try to achieve results based on the
observation of our peers, that doesn’t mean that the view should be the view of
our spouse. So let me get this straight,
because one person is dreaming about something specific means the other should
dream about the same thing?? How does
that sound?? You really believe
that??
I’m not saying that one shouldn’t support the other but
expecting others to share in your dream seems a bit unrealistic and even
selfish but then, maybe I’m not living the dream…
